"What do you do?"

Should you be on the receiving end of this unfortunate question, you have a number of clever ways to respond without unduly offending the woman you are speaking to.

Your conversation partner might well be at a loss for words, but do hasten to assure her that no offense was intended, and that it's all in jest. [Lessons in good manners should be administered in a lighthearted and painless fashion.]

Note that if you are speaking with a women as socially inexperienced as you, she may have inadvertently let slip the baleful "What do you do?" question, and this may not necessarily imply bad manners on her part. Exercise restraint and be kind. This most certainly takes precedence over flaunting your devastating wit.

"When the Messiah comes, he will heal the sick and raise the dead... but for the fool there is no cure."
old Jewish proverb