"What do you do?"
Should you be on the receiving end of this unfortunate question, you
have a number of clever ways to respond without unduly offending
the woman you are speaking to.
- "I'm a human being."
- "I'm an ologist."
- "I'm a misanthrope."
- "I'm an unemployed Employment Counselor."
- "I'm Chargé d'Affairs for the Austro-Hungarian
Empire."
- "I'm the pretender to the throne."
- "I'm a sorceror's apprentice."
- "I'm an Assistant to the Undersecretary."
- "I'm an avatar."
- "I'm the reincarnation of Albertus Magnus."
- "I'm co-author of the book,
1001 Creative Ways to Spend Your
Welfare Check."
- "I'm a direct descendant from Adam."
- "I'm the chauffeur's favorite nephew."
- "I'm accepting donations."
- "I'm The One And Only."
- "I'm writing a book on how to answer impertinent
questions."
Your conversation partner might well be at a loss for words, but do
hasten to assure her that no offense was intended, and that it's all in
jest. [Lessons in good manners should be administered in a lighthearted
and painless fashion.]
Note that if you are speaking with a women as socially inexperienced as
you, she may have inadvertently let slip the baleful "What do you
do?" question, and this may not necessarily imply bad manners on her
part. Exercise restraint and be kind. This most certainly takes
precedence over flaunting your devastating wit.
"When the Messiah comes, he will heal the sick and raise the
dead... but for the fool there is no cure."
old Jewish proverb