HOW-2 Meet Women



Chapter 6

In the Arms of my Beloved
Writing Love Letters


There you stand helpless, while the woman of your dreams glides across the far side of the room, too far away to touch, unattainable...

There come times when it is difficult or unwise to directly approach the woman you wish to meet. Then there are the situations when the question arises of how to continue a budding relationship, how to build on that casual encounter at the party last night, how to show your continuing interest to the woman who invited you to lunch last week. Here the power of the written word comes into play, when intimations of feeling and yearning are best expressed in the written mode, by letter, note, or even e-mail.

Consider the three phases of a relationship. The acquaintanceship period is characterized at first by distance, then by mutual courtesy and respect. This ripens into friendship, where warmth and trust unfold. Should the bond reach the point of intimacy, declarations of passion and commitment are in order. Letter writing can substitute for or enhance actual physical presence at any or all these intervals, and is especially well suited for the delicate early stages of a developing pair bond.


Ms. Jones,

You were extremely helpful to me in resolving the problem with my account yesterday. I could not help admiring your professionalism and problem solving skills. Such a combination of talent and common sense makes you a person to be reckoned with. You are a credit to your organization.

Please permit me to express my gratitude for your help by treating you to dinner at the Brown Derby. This is the least I can do to repay your efforts above and beyond the call of duty on my behalf.

Yours sincerely,

John "Johnny" Smith

A written note to someone you have met only briefly requires a delicate touch indeed... subtlety and tentativeness are prescribed. This permits either party to back off without loss of face (the second paragraph above may optionally be omitted to render the note even more deliberately innoucuous). Be aware that a note under these circumstances involves considerable risk of rejection, and will likely be effective only when the woman addressed is actively seeking a new relationship.


A fleeting "hello" at a party hardly constitutes an introduction, I'm well aware, but wasn't that a twinkle in your eye when I proposed a toast to "The Year of the Dinosaur"?

How extraordinarily warm it was for a New Year's eve, and being able to look at the stars on the patio uncoated was as sweet as a stolen kiss. If you could but have joined me there, but ah, we had already parted and gone our separate ways.

Feel under no obligation to reply... you may consider me a fool carried away by the spirit of the season, or just a fool, as you like.

The dark-haired stranger,
known to his friends as

Raphael the Mysterious

The get acquainted phase is the time to be creative, perhaps to take some risks, after all, you do not have a relationship to lose... yet. Making a fool of yourself in the eyes of a stranger is just one more of life's little adventures.

Note very carefully that some women will react unfavorably to having advances made to them by a virtual stranger, and even a very subtle note may offend them. In such cases, cease and desist immediately, with apologies as appropriate.


You are good friends with her, but there is nothing romantic between you... Treasure the friendship! Nurture it. In the relative scheme of things, loyal friends are as rare as lovers (ex-lovers make the best friends, it is said, as truly as ex-friends make the best lovers). In any case, enjoy the friendship for what it is, and do not let impatience push you into presuming too much or jeopardizing the trust.


What a joy it was popping into the art gallery at lunch today. We were a bit hurried/harried, and I'm still recovering from the assault on my senses of all those violent colors. The Pointillists are just a bit much, I think, on a Tuesday afternoon, and that hastily wolfed down sandwich cum bowl of soup did me no good at all.

My Lord, what a pleasure it is to ricochet ideas off your wonderful mind! We have something precious here, a tight rapport, a spiritual communion, a sense of oneness rare even in a long married couple. And to think that we're "just friends". Friends. What an exalted state is friendship if it brings kindred souls into harmonic vibration.

Your friend, just, but not only,


Just friendship... or will it ever evolve into something more intimate? Let your words soar lyrically in your missives, warm yourself in the reflected light of mutual understanding, and appreciate the riches you have in being "just friends". Let the bond between you deepen, or not, as the weeks and months pass. Be patient, ever patient.


Oh lucky man! You and your lady friend have finally spoken your devotion to each other, and have yes, touched.

And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?
Now indeed is the time for poetry, and your notes to your sweetheart will mirror and affirm your embraces. Let the words, rapturous words flow from the heart as the bond between you deepens.

Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine
---Ben Jonson


Many are the needs served by a letter expressing profound feelings. Words on paper can kindle a relationship, deepen it, reconcile quarrels, and even... put an end to it.

Master the art of the romantic epistle, Sir Knight, in search of the Holy Grail of Love. For all your shyness face-to-face, you may nevertheless win the heart of your Fair Domina and touch her very soul in the exalted realm of the written word.

"I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes,
and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle's."

---Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing