Relationship Links

Cupids Network

People & Culture: Relationships
An excellent annotated listing of singles links.

Incurable Romantix Love Page
A commercial site (i.e., they showcase their own products), but has much useful info and is well worth a visit.

In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person.
Margaret Anderson


Dating Advice for Geeks
Brenda gives down to earth advice for the lovelorn. The "Pathetic Series", about "dates from hell" and
"high school horrors" is, by itself, worth the price of admission.

Dating Advice - Welcome from The Mining Company
Brenda's other dating site.

Personal Ads - 101
Advice and tutorial links on personal ads.

Single's Coach
Nina Atwood, licensed therapist, answers questions and gives exactly the kind of conventional, no-nonsense advice you would expect from a professional.

alt.romance FAQ
Collected wisdom from the participants of the alt.romance newsgroup. Some of it actually is wise, some funny, some a crock.

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.
Oscar Wilde

Web Rings For Singles

Siren's Romance Ring
Singles OnLine Web Ring

General Info

A Brief Guide to Social Newsgroups and Mailing Lists
Dave Taylor gives an extensive, if uncritical, rundown of the singles newsgroups and mailing lists.

Size Acceptance Organizations
(For admirers of fat women)


Other Resources

Folk Dancing
   Karl Finger Folk Enterprises
   Hupi Rd., Box 933
   Monterey, MA 01245-0933
   Weekly folk dancing in New York City area
   Dance weekends, trips, and cruises


Balzac, Scenes de la Vie d'une Courtesane.
Written by the master of the French romance, this one is not likely available in an English translation. Gives a perceptive, and humorous view of the intrigues and amours in the haute monde.

Berman, Morris, The Reenchantment of the World, ISBN 0-553-24171-0, 1984.
A new, or rather, ancient way of looking at consciousness and reality, and of our relationship to the world.

Brophy, Brigid, Flesh, 1962.
Heartwarming story of the love of two simple people. [Out of print]

Burdick, Eugene, The Ninth Wave, 1957.
An astute analysis of human weakness. Deep down, are we all motivated by just anger and fear?
[out of print]

Byrd, Richard E., Alone, 1938.
The arctic explorer's classic on the rigors of being alone, of relying fully on one's self. The definitive antidote to loneliness. [Out of print]

de la Clos, Les Liaisons Dangereuse.
One of the earliest of the romantic novels, piercing and wickedly funny. If you can't get the book, see the movie, starring Glenn Close and John Malkovitch.

Conway, Flo and Jim Siegelman, Snapping (America's Epidemic of Sudden Personality Change), 1979, ISBN 0-440-57970-8.
How terribly vulnerable we are to brainwashing and manipulation.

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, FLOW: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, 1990.
A new look at that elusive quality, happiness.

Durrell, Lawrence, The Alexandria Quartet (Justine, Balthazar, Mountolive, Clea).
The full spectrum of passion and its messy byproducts. Plot and counterplot. Exquisite writing.

Fowles, John, The Magus.
Why modern man is crippled in his capacity for love.

Hesse, Hermann, Narziß und Goldmund (Narcissus and Goldmund), 1930.
Set in medieval Europe, this is the story of two friends. One chooses the austere life of a scholar, the other the pursuit of passion and sensual pleasures.

Hobson, Laura Z., Tea and Sympathy.
Controversial play about the difficult coming-of-age of a boy who is scorned by his peers for being "unmasculine", and the efforts of a sympathetic older woman to help him overcome his self-loathing.

Lanier, Sidney, his poetry, especially "The Marshes of Glynn".

Lawrence, D.H., Women In Love.
Why women love us, and do they really?
Also see the excellent Ken Russell movie, with Glenda Jackson's memorable performance.

Lefkowitz, Bernard, Our Guys, Univ. Of California Press, 1997, ISBN 0-965-059496.
The depravity of middle-class "jock" culture. Why predatory males are idealized.

LeGuin, Ursula, The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas (short story).
The extravagant price people are willing to pay for the good life.

Mann, Thomas, Joseph and His Brothers [Joseph und seine Brüder], vol. 3.
The classic tale of female obsession, the mad lust of Potiphar's wife. [out of print]

McIntosh, J.T., Snow White and the Giants, 1968.
Otherwise mediocre SF novel that makes fascinating speculations about "the knack" of getting women to fall hard. [out of print]

Ostrander, Sheila and Lynn Schroeder, Superlearning, 1979, ISBN 0-440-08354-0.
Developing human potential through music.

Rimbaud, Arthur, Le Bateau Ivre (The Drunken Boat), poem
A delirious fantasy of the senses.

Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage.
The classic about obsessive love.

Stendhal, The Scarlet and the Black.
Counterpoint to Balzac, and possibly even better. Young man, making his way in the world, brought down by a grand passion.

Stevens, Wallace, his poetry, especially Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird and
The Emperor of Ice Cream.

Sturgeon, Theodore, Baby, It's You (short story). *
All the failed relationships that ever were, in a nutshell. Also, see the song of the same title, below.

Sturgeon, Theodore, It Wasn't Syzygy (SF, short story, 1948). *
On the dangers of defining yourself by the woman you love.

Sturgeon, Theodore, A Saucer of Loneliness (SF, short story, 1953). *
"There is in certain living souls
A quality of loneliness unspeakable,
So great it must be shared..."

Tolstoy, Leo, Anna Karenina.
Tragic obsessive love of an older woman for a younger man.

Vance, Jack, Green Magic (novelette).
Wizardry, seduction, and the importance of subtlety.

Wakefield, Dan, Scoring.
Young Jewish boy on the make learns about life and love, yet still manages to laugh at himself.

Wilson, Richard, Mother to the World (SF novelette, 1968).
Sweet, low-key "end of the world" relationship between a caring man and a mildly retarded, but loving woman.

Wouk, Herman, Marjorie Morningstar.
"Customs of courtship vary greatly in different times and places, but the way the thing happens to be done here and now always seems the only natural way to do it."

* Collected in E Pluribus Unicorn, which, like the rest of Sturgeon's works, has been out of print for decades. North Atlantic Books is in the process of reprinting his stories in a proposed 10 volume set.


"Annie Hall" (Woody Allen)
Nice Jewish boy meets crazy, mixed-up shiksa.

"Damage" (Louis Malle)
Lust wreaks havoc.

"Jules and Jim" (Truffaut)
Your basic love triangle. Both funny and sad, in a touching way.

"Le Filou (The Pickpocket)"
You have to find yourself before you can find anyone else. (Robert Bresson)

"Marty" (from the play by Paddy Chayefsky)
The classic about love between shy people. Must see.

"Play It Again, Sam" (Woody Allen)
How not to be Humphrey Bogart.

"Play Misty" (Clint Eastwood)
A woman violently obsessed with the object of her desires. This predecessor to Fatal Attraction easily ranks as Eastwood's finest effort.

"Room at the Top" (Simone Signoret, Lawrence Harvey)
Upwardly striving guy abandons his true love for a rich girl. From the book by John Braine.

"Shadowlands" (Anthony Hopkins, Debra Winger)
Shy writer C.S. Lewis and his tragic love for the brash Joy Gresham.

"A Taste of Honey" (Rita Tushingham)
Tender yearning, not quite love.

"The Touch [Berörungen]" (Ingmar Bergman)
Obsessive passion destroys a woman's life.


"The Kiss", by Auguste Rodin
Inspiring generations of lovers, this sculpture-in-bronze expresses the power and the beauty of joining one's heart and soul to another. On display at the Museé Rodin in Paris, or on-line at the Webmuseum.

(in no particular order of importance)

Pachelbel's "Canon"
Overused, but still everybody's favorite.

Franz Biber's "Sonata à Sept"
Hypnotically simple, yet charming.

Charpentier's "Te Deum"
Liturgical, but utterly moving and grandly sensual all the same.

Rameau's "Gavotte and Variations"
One of the two most sensuous harpsichord pieces ever written.

Padre Antonio Soler's "Fandango Suite"
The other one of the two most sensuous harpsichord pieces ever written.

"The Wedge", from J.S. Bach's "Toccata in F"
As played by Virgil Fox at the organ, it will set both you and your girlfriend on fire, guaranteed.

"Schlummert Ein" (Slumber Soft), from the "Notebook of Anna Magdalena Bach",
by J.S. Bach, as sung by Elly Ameling, of course.
Finest known example of the art of the lullaby, and wonderful for singing your love to sleep.

Vivaldi's "Nullo in Mundo Pax Sincera"
Achingly beautiful aria.

"Au Fond du Temple Saint" Duet, as sung by Jussi Björling and Robert Merrill
Goes down like honey.

Karl Orff's "Carmina Burana"
The ultimate in erotic music.

For opera buffs

"Don Giovanni", by Mozart

"Les Histoires d'Hoffmann" (Tales of Hoffmann), by Jacques Offenbach
Music just a bit 'cutesy', but a topical libretto about a shy scholar pursuing love.

"Liebestod" (Love Death) from "Tristan und Isolde", by Wagner

"Madame Butterfly", by Puccini

"Peleas et Melisande", by Debussy

And for something a bit more modern

"Baby, It's You", by the Shirelles (1961)

"Come Softly To Me", The Fleetwoods (1959)

Joan Baez, singing "Diamonds and Rust"

Judy Collins' masterful renditions of Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne"
and, of course, Buffy St. Marie's "Clouds"

Leonard Cohen's own "Marianne"

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face", Roberta Flack (1972)

Charles Aznavour's "She" ("Elle, peut etre la beauté ou la bete...")
Haunting music and lyrics, composed and sung by one of the best male singers of the age.

                                       Information is not knowledge
                                       Knowledge is not wisdom
                                       Wisdom is not truth
                                       Truth is not beauty
                                       Beauty is not love
                                       Love is not music
                                       Music is the best.  
                                               Frank Zappa