HOW-2 Meet Women



Chapter 10

The First Date

At last, you have reached the point in your blossoming relationship where you will be going out on a date. Your first date, a milestone, yet a bottomless pit of uncertainty. It's like being on a roller coaster, with the alternating surges of soaring giddiness and fright, the conflicting emotions of "can't wait" and "not yet". While overjoyed that you will be going out with *her*, there is still the gnawing anxiety that you will somehow "blow it". Not to worry. It will certainly be something of an adventure, something to reminisce and laugh about (Oh, no! Not another learning experience!), and you would not miss it for the world.

If possible, get plenty of sleep the night before, or at least take a short nap during the day. Shower and put on fresh clothes. Brush your teeth and shave, as necessary. Cologne and mouth wash are optional. Rely on those comforting little rituals that affirm your identity, and this will launch you on your journey, well rested, relaxed, clean, and feeling reasonably confident.

Be on time. You promised to be there at a certain time. Call ahead if circumstances will keep you from showing up as arranged. The trust between the two of you is still very new and fragile, and arriving late on a first date creates uncertainty and strains that trust.

On the way there, pick or buy a small bouquet of colorful wildflowers. It will not deplete your finances much, and will show how much you cherish her company. Flowers from your hand to hers... her happy little gasp of surprise, the warm flood of her smile, her smile for you alone.

The "classic", or generic date, not to be confused with the unconventional
creative / inventive date, consists of entertainment, followed by a meal, then a walk under the stars, and finally the leave taking. The entertainment usually defaults to a movie, though a live performance, a play or a concert, makes for a richer experience. There is no need to spend "big bucks" in an expensive restaurant. A simple meal in an "atmospheric" neighborhood cafe, the scarred wooden table covered by a stained, checkered cloth, with a guttering candle in an old wine bottle between the two of you as you scoop up forkfuls of pungently spiced, chewy spaghetti, occasionally catching shy glimpses of each other's eyes... all this will do just fine. Then the walk home, the time for quiet reflection and expressing feelings by glances and occasional words, this tops off a satisfying evening.

As you walk with her, by her side, matching your step to hers, in cadence, in harmony, she has the opportunity to take your hand... if she is so moved. Holding hands comes naturally, if it comes at all. Do not force unwanted attentions on her! "Making a move on her" is neither required of you, nor desirable. She will touch you if she has been touched by your presence. If she wants to be touched, she will touch you.

Time for parting. "Goodbye. I enjoyed the evening and the pleasure of your company." You may take her hand, if she is amenable, for a goodbye hand squeeze. If she offers her cheek, you may kiss it, likewise her lips... if she offers. Respond, rather than initiate. Physical closeness is her gift to you, given if and when the time is right, and a first date is rather soon. "It was a wonderful evening. May I see you again?" It is the end of an evening... and a beginning.