The First Impression

According to folklore and conventional wisdom, the first impression you make upon meeting a person sets the tone for the subsequent development of the relationship. A bad impression, therefore, constitutes an irrecoverable error. That being the case, you should always make it your first priority to look your best in any situation in which you might meet people, and women in particular.

Nonsense! Shallow, superficial people judge others by "first impressions". It is an indication of intellectual laziness (and very likely impairment), of an unwillingness and possible inability to think deeply, analyze, and make informed decisions. A woman who makes a snap judgment of you based on a "first impression" is hardly worth bothering with.

In general, you, as a shy person, need not lose much sleep over what sort of "first impression" you make on people. It is quite sufficient to come across as 'neutral', relatively nondescript, incapable of being categorized and placed into a convenient slot. You are a quiet and reserved person, enigmatic, profound and unfathomable, marvelous in your complexity, and you need wear no mask, no false flamboyance to intrigue others. If your style, your manner, your inner radiance provokes others to think, to pause, reflect and wonder, you will make an unforgettable impression.

The Second Impression

Wisdom dictates holding back the most important parts of one's self at first contact, in favor of a gradual and orderly getting acquainted period. Getting to know someone, truly know them, is a slow and sometimes messy affair, full of risks and potential missteps, and only a fool would attempt to short-circuit the process by relying on a 'first impression'. There is much more to a person than can be taken in at a single glance, and, as is generally the case, "what you see is not what you get".

How much more powerful than making a good 'first impression' is the satisfaction of shattering people's preconceived notions about you, of literally being reborn in their eyes as a novelty, a bright and shining unknown. The dawning awareness, the dazed bewilderment of their awakening as they realize they had not really known you at all... and that they need you to enrich their all too ordinary lives, this more than makes up for being ignored and passed over at first sight.