Having a woman completely enthralled by you, obsessed with you,
totally and entirely "in your power" is the stuff of fantasy, and
adolescent fantasy at that. Certainly, having a woman "hanging all over
you" might be flattering to your ego, but, for all that, it is an
unhealthy state of affairs, a dubious way to run a relationship, a
highly mixed blessing. It demeans the woman, distracts you from
attending to your life's work, and drains your energy. It might well
bring ruin upon the woman... and upon the object of her affections, you.
What compels a woman to become smitten and enamored, entranced, obsessed, obsessed with a man, one particular man? How can a passion for one special person brutally enslave her heart and mind, giving her no rest, no peace? Why does she believe, uncompromisingly, that only this one man, distant, unobtainable, holds the promise of fulfillment for her?
The obsessed woman wants the unobtainable, precisely that which she cannot have, the man who is beyond her grasp. She may fixate upon a man already married or in an established relationship, or one totally unsuitable for reasons of age difference or other cultural barriers. Inacessibility and resistance superheat her passion past all normal bounds. This is the notorious "Romeo and Juliette" effect, familiar to generations of frustrated lovers.
The obsessed woman falls in love with an "ideal", a picture in her mind, not a real person, and she develops the conviction, nurtures the illusion that this man is her one and only soulmate. If the man fails to respond, if he denies her... even this enhances his "specialness", his aura of mystery and desirability. She is lost.
The obsessed woman has gaps, blank spots in her life. She is
unfulfilled, incomplete, desolate. She is driven to fill the emptiness,
the void within her. Her frantic pursuit of a man is a cry of
desperation, an expression of the search for purpose and meaning in life
that at some level must move all humans.
The subject of mad, obsessive love has received extensive attention in literature and the arts. For further reference, consider Tolstoy's novel,