"...a woman could fool herself about her relationship with a man only as long as he was around. The moment he had left, she would drop all pretense, and no wonder; at that moment her heart would break and that awful, awful sickness begin: the agony, the hopeless yearning with every fiber of her body, every nerve, for his presence his touch; her every waking thought, her every dream would be centered on him in unbearable, self-inflicted torture.
Jan de Hartog, "The Peaceable Kingdom"

She pursues you relentlessly. The woman will not let you alone. She embarrasses you in public places by inappropriate displays of affection. She calls at inopportune times and turns up at your door without warning. She interrupts your work and intrudes into your private business. Her professed "love" for you complicates your life. Your devoted admirer has become an annoyance, a damned nuisance, a scourge.

Having a woman completely enthralled by you, obsessed with you, totally and entirely "in your power" is the stuff of fantasy, and adolescent fantasy at that. Certainly, having a woman "hanging all over you" might be flattering to your ego, but, for all that, it is an unhealthy state of affairs, a dubious way to run a relationship, a highly mixed blessing. It demeans the woman, distracts you from attending to your life's work, and drains your energy. It might well bring ruin upon the woman... and upon the object of her affections, you.

What compels a woman to become smitten and enamored, entranced, obsessed, obsessed with a man, one particular man? How can a passion for one special person brutally enslave her heart and mind, giving her no rest, no peace? Why does she believe, uncompromisingly, that only this one man, distant, unobtainable, holds the promise of fulfillment for her?

The obsessed woman wants the unobtainable, precisely that which she cannot have, the man who is beyond her grasp. She may fixate upon a man already married or in an established relationship, or one totally unsuitable for reasons of age difference or other cultural barriers. Inacessibility and resistance superheat her passion past all normal bounds. This is the notorious "Romeo and Juliette" effect, familiar to generations of frustrated lovers.

The obsessed woman falls in love with an "ideal", a picture in her mind, not a real person, and she develops the conviction, nurtures the illusion that this man is her one and only soulmate. If the man fails to respond, if he denies her... even this enhances his "specialness", his aura of mystery and desirability. She is lost.

The obsessed woman has gaps, blank spots in her life. She is unfulfilled, incomplete, desolate. She is driven to fill the emptiness, the void within her. Her frantic pursuit of a man is a cry of desperation, an expression of the search for purpose and meaning in life that at some level must move all humans.

The subject of mad, obsessive love has received extensive attention in literature and the arts. For further reference, consider Tolstoy's novel,
Anna Karenina , not to mention the movies The Touch (Bergman), Play Misty , and, of course, Fatal Attraction .